September 24, 2014
This is another complete aside from the
bricollage project although using the same collaging of elements using
Photoshop.
One of the reasons this entire project has
gone slowly, besides technical difficulties, has been the fact that I have had
retinal re-attachment surgery in both eyes over the last four years. The last operation was the beginning of June
2013, just over a year ago. I was laid
up for four months, housebound and under doctor’s orders to have strict rest –
no driving, no chores like mowing the lawn and no lifting over 10 pounds. For some time after each operation, by vision
was blurry to say the least and I was unable even to use my computer. I still have difficulty with small fonts etc.
and now have difficulty working on a small laptop screen.
Retinal re-attachment surgery is one of the
most uncomfortable two hours you will ever spend in your life. You must be awake during surgery with only
your eye frozen to mask the pain. That
said, finding yourself going blind, with black blobs overcoming your sight, is
more disconcerting and I feel very fortunate that I was given to the care of
Dr. Ravikrishna Nrusimhadevara, who must be one of the best eye surgeons in the
world.
The most memorable aspect of the entire
process of retinal re-attachment, other that fear, anxiety and pain, was the
visual. It started in my right eye with
a black blob that quickly overcame sight in that eye. With the left eye, 3 years later, it began
with a dark grey net suddenly floating around in the eye (incidentally, while
working on a digital collage entitled Achilles). The optic nerve had also detached in the
right eye and had to be reattached with a lazer and that was a crazy lightshow
on its own. During surgery, I could also
see things descending into my eyeball.
During recovery, again the most noticeable
aspect is the wild array of visual anomalies and aftereffects. Dr. Ravi told me to expect a great deal of
visual ‘noise’ for a while but that it would abate in time and it has. I experienced everything from blobs and
bubbles in my eye (I still have a small bubble floating around in my left eye);
wild light shows during surgery; everything in a slightly psychedelic net of
color after surgery; moire, bloodvessel and water patterns; and a very strong
sense of ‘afterburn’ or ‘afterimage’ when I close my eyes. I was, and still am, sensitive to strong
light and experience a vivid ‘afterburn’ image when I close my eyes. What I mean is that if I look into a red light
I experience a green blob on closing my eyelids. Even now when I close my eyes I see strong,
colorful, and often moving patterns. I
also still have difficulty driving at night into oncoming lights that cause
strong and opaque color blobs to float in my vision from closing my eyes.
In the few months after surgery, I became
interested in seeing if I could recreate some of the visual effects I was
seeing on Photoshop. I tried many
different things and created about 400 files from which these final images are
derived. Some effects, like the water
patterns and moirés didn’t make strong finished images and other images seemed
too literal or photographic.
The images that worked best for me were of
lights with the color reversed and merged with a textural background
plate. These images both replicated the
effect of ‘after’ images but, on the highly textured background plate, also had
the look and texture of handmade etchings which I like in digital prints. So, in the end, these images were chosen for
their aesthetic and ‘printerly’ qualities.
These images make beautiful prints and I
have printed a series at 17X22” and one at 23X32”. I haven’t yet printed x-large prints at 44”
wide but think that a couple of these images would look good printed really
large. I'm still wondering if I should call the series Retina, which means net, but that may be too literal. I'd appreciate comments.
